For His Glory

Rise up

Put on the Full Armour of God and walk in the Power that Christ has given YOU.!!

What the armor of God, and why is it important? The Armour of God is our protection. When worn properly through the Holy Spirit, it gives us the ability to STAND against all trickery of the Devil.

Let me make this clear, I refuse to give Glory to anyone except for Christ himself, but most don’t realize exactly how good the devil knows us. You see, it’s his job to steal, kill and destroy. He examines us daily, and he watches us closely. He knows he doesn’t have any authority over us, only that which we as individual’s all him to have.

So many people are making a joke about the devil, saying life on earth is hell, and it can’t get any worse, I assure you it can and it will get worse if you do not wear your Armour properly, and while you are busy making a joke about the Devil, he’s making a joke out of you, you are his pun, you are his pet, you are his toy, you are his puppet on a string, and you’re going to do whatever he pushes you into whether you realize it or not, if you do not belong to Christ, you belong to him. — Harsh, but I’ll type it as it comes to me.

1st Peter 5:8 -Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

He’s walking around looking for someone to devour. Will it be you? Do you have your mind guarded? Do you have your shield up? Are you willing to fight back with the word of God and place him in his place? Are you willing to Stand?

Let me give an example of how he sifts us..

The devil our adversary, knows all of our weakness, and he knows every crack that in our Armour. He knows if we have a big mouth, and if we get mad easily, so he’ll send people to trip you up on your mouth, and he’ll use the ones you love the most that you have been praying for (for years, or even decades,) to get into you, to make you sin. He wants us to sin, because sin on Judgement Day will be the only thing that separates us from Jesus. No sin will enter into Heaven.

He knows if you’re unhappy in your marriage, so he’ll send people to entice you, and to lure you away from your spouse, especially if its someone you’re already close to, and are friends with, and have been praying for. He’ll intentionally set traps up, and place emotions there, that aren’t of God, placing ungodly feelings, and ill intentions within both hearts.

And if it were possible, He would deceive the very elect of Christ. The Chosen vessels of Christ is among the ones he is after, because he knows like David, and Daniel, and Joseph, those people are the front liners for Christ, if he can take a strong man down, he’ll destroy a whole league of sinners, who are inline to be saved.

He knows if you’re broken and on the verge of losing it, so he’ll play on that every breathe and make you feel even more broken, and hopeless, and he’ll get so deep in your heart that he’ll make you want to take your very own life

If you’re not reading your bible, he’ll send you false prophets, magicians, fortune tellers, medians, false dreams, and anything that preaches prosperity, instead of truth. He does not want you to know the truth, nor does he want you to realize that the truth in Christ is the only thing that will set you free and preaching the truth in Christ is what will set our loved ones, family, friends, and the sinners free.

Put on the ARMOUR of GOD and STAND.

We are fleshly, but we do not wrestle with flesh and blood, when we battle, we are battling principalities, darkness, and rulers in the dark places of this universe, they appear to be heavenly but are full of hell, lies and deceit. They are the devils’ angels himself.

The carnal mind is enemy to God. We are to have a spiritual mind and seek the gift of Discernment.

We are to crucify our flesh Daily and walk after Christ and his ways. That sinner who you keep walking with today, and talking to may not take heed today, but sooner or later that Same Holy Ghost that’s within you, will pour over onto them.

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 Do not pay attention to every word that is spoken, or you may hear your servant cursing you. For you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.…

John 14:12 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.

STAND UP FOR JESUS!

WE have no excuse for not walking in our power!

Stop perverting the word of truth, and start living it

!Come ye out from among them and be a separate people! Let your light shine!

If you’re blending in with the sinners, chances are you are, your armor is lopped sided, and needs to be adjusted, that’s ok, a closer walk with Jesus can fix that!!

I love you all, yes this is harsh, but I’ll no longer filter the gospel to flatter your fancy or your feelings.

Jesus loves you Most.

❤ Christie

I’ve been beat down, broke down, pushed down, dragged down, thrown down, put down, placed down, and knocked down.

But Jesus who holds my right-hand lifts me back up!

2021 was the year of years for me. I lived out the book of Ecclesiastes to the fullest. I enjoyed life, sought after and ran after material, and worldly possessions. Seeking pleasure in the world and getting the fulfillment in my flesh. I searched out the world and found that it was all vain. I searched out what was the depth and height and the weight of the world. &. in the end I was left with want.

My soul was vexed beyond measure, my soul was in lack. After obtaining all the worldly possessions I could possibly want, I was still empty inside.

There was left a God size hole that only Jesus could fill.

The past 4-5 years I’ve been partially serving Jesus. I’ve been chasing after him for worldly promises. I’ve been selling the one short, who paid it all for me. You see in this world he doesn’t have to promise us anything, he paid it all. In this world, he doesn’t have to give us anything, when he himself already gave it all.

He paid the price for you and I to enter into heaven, that alone should have been enough for me to say ok Jesus you are my all in all. But it wasn’t. I served him in hopes of my family coming in, my mother and sister being saved, and several other reasons.

I’d read and study here and there, and still never fully gave Jesus all that he deserved and all that he wanted, which was simply my heart, my love, my devotion, my thoughts, my selfish ambitions, my desires, and my if you do this for me then I’ll do that for you thoughts. I served him in hopes of gain.

That’s not right, and that’s a major fault on my behalf. That’s hypocritical, and I’m the first to point the fingers and say I was in the wrong.

Recently, Jesus has allowed me to go into the dark. He’s allowed me to go into a place I never wanted to go into, into darkness and blackness. That empty abyss, where only time, emptiness, loneliness, void, absence, begging, pleading, broken promises, sin, greed, hatefulness, lust, adultery, idolatry, uncleanness, lasciviousness’, wrath, strife, sedition, heresies, and every other thing that is contrary to the word of God exist. Jesus allowed me to go where he wasn’t, so I’d realize what I needed.

He’s brought true meaning to the verses in the bible Isaiah 55:8-9–“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts, and Lamentations 3:22-23 –The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies and never come to an end, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Jeremiah 29:11–For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans not to harm you, and plans to give you hope and a future. Psalms 139:17-18–How precious to me are your thoughts, how great is the sum of them, if I could count them, they are more than the number of grains of sand. I awake and you’re still with me. Esther 4:14–Perhaps I was made for such as time as this.

As, I look and meditate upon how far Jesus has brought me, and how much he has delivered me from, and the above verses, I now boldly say: JESUS YOU ARE ENOUGH. It’s you that’s been with me, and that the end of this life, I will not remember anything except for you. And that alone is enough to make me say “JESUS I SURRENDER.” Take my life and make it as you would have it. Take my hand lord, and lead me, and I’ll follow you. I don’t know what you’re doing, and I’m sorry, I’m sorry for all my sin, I’m sorry for all my short comings, and I’m sorry for following you in vain, and for gain. You alone are enough. You tell me that when you make the new heavens and the new earth that all former things will pass away, and I won’t remember them, but you don’t tell me anywhere that I’ll forget you. So, God I pray each and every day that you are my head, and I, even if all I am is your feet, God, direct my steps. I’ll follow. Through it all you will remain. People may come and go, but you will forever remain. I thank you for saving me and setting me free. I thank you Jesus for loving me and dying for me!

&.. Guess what Satan! –You and your plans of destruction, Jesus has used for his good, he’s turned it for his purpose and for glory. You have no authority over me, Jesus has the final say over me. I am Forgiven, I have forgiven myself, I rebuke thee in the name of Jesus. I speak not with my authority but with the authority that has been placed in me when he called my name, I am loved beyond measure, I am chosen, I am his. In Jesus is my breathe and in Jesus is my life. He holds me, he comforts me. and he loves me.

&&&&&… I AM STILL HOLDING ON TO JESUS…

Jesus-Has won; Me -has perfect peace; Satan-under my feet!

❤ I love you

❤ Jesus loves you most

❤ Christie

“You might not recognize me now, Those chains that once surrounded me are laying on the ground; you can’t keep digging up my past, you may have had a laugh or two but you don’t get the last. Maybe I was blind but now I see, maybe I was bound but now I’m free. If you want scars I’ll show you scars, all the wounds upon the hands of light that pierced the dark. If I were you, I’d be afraid, cause everything you meant for guilt the cross has met with grace, Oh, I think it’s time you met my maker, I think it’s time you remember. Satan, this is where I say farewell, Satan this is where you go on back to hell! YOU’RE UNDER MY FEET!!!!” Zach Williams-Under My Feet

As the year 2021 began to come to a close with the last 24 hours of ticking down; I found myself sitting in my recliner, close to my son, with my airpods in listening to Casting Crowns-In the Hands of the Potter, with tear filled eyes, and waves of sorrow flowing down my cheeks. I found myself questioning Jesus. The lack of prayers answered, the lack of closure, the lack of happiness, the lack of joy, the lack his presence, the lack of peace, the lack of light, was the reason for these tears. While hearing the following lyrics play “My world is breaking me, your love is shaping me, and the enemy is afraid of what you’re making me.” I heard what God was telling me with these lyrics, only I couldn’t feel him within myself. All I could feel was my own self and my own reckless emotions. I was broken.

2021 started off being a decent year for me. I began the year with season passes to my favorite getaway place in Tennessee, Dollywood. I’m an avid thrill seeker. Minus that little swinging thing in Tennessee the slingshot or whatever it’s called, and that seat that looks like it’s on a pendulum, yeah, no way Jose on them things. But as for Dollywood itself, I feel in love with that place in my early 20’s. It always been my escape, and a place of solitude when I just want to unwind. I’ve transitioned jobs a handful of times in 2021 going wherever God leads. I became a SRNA or CNA, (something I never wanted to do, but Jesus’ lead this, even speaking it to me in a dream and I followed, and low and behold I accomplished this, & turns out I loved the servitude I learned from guidance of God, and the connection with my patients).

But in October of 2021, things began to shift. The shift was a downward one, and it quickly become a spiral. While still following Jesus, I went into a storm. One like a hurricane. You see even though I was close to Jesus, I had cracks in my Armour, and the devil being the sly fox he is, began to chissel at those cracks with everything in him. God began to send people to me again to pray for me, to reach out to me, and ones to walk with me into my dark. My best-friend Sara is my warrior in Christ, and my furnace fighter. That girl has battled every devil right along with me. My Church family saw me withering away and began to reach out to me too, but not to the point of pushing me farther away from Jesus, giving me space when I needed it, but telling me what Jesus had to say when he spoke it to them. They knew I was still holding on. I’ll never forget my pastor’s wife speaking to me one Sunday while I was just sitting in the pew lifeless without my tambourine. She told it was going to get better, and might I add, she would have never said this, unless God led her to. She’s very mother like, wise in years, but allows her children to make their own decisions, while trusting Jesus to fight their battles. – God used her that day. The same day, my sister in Christ was led to pray for me, motioning me up front, and I shook my head no. I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move, I didn’t want to move. Being obedient to the Holy Ghost, she got up and came to me and prayed for me anyways, and God spoke through her and told me the Storm won’t last forever. I knew then, it would end, only I didn’t know how long it was going to last.

By middle November, I had reached another low, the Devil had chipped so much at my Armour that it was completely chisselled off, and my husband and I had gotten into a fight, and some harsh words were spoken, and I was planning on saying lights out. Only to find myself sitting in the floor, and a song came on reminding me I wouldn’t be weary long, and that I wasn’t meant to walk this road alone. –Then came my cat Chloe who refused to let me move. But also, soothed me through the tears I cried. I collected myself, had a talk with Jesus and continued into the dark. December came, and the darkness got thicker and thicker with each passing day. I’d pray and talk to God, I still wasn’t reading his word, I had lost all desire for his word, but I still held on to him, but only by the hem of his garment.

In the last two weeks of December 2021, I began to miss church, and eventually stopped going all together. At first, my reason for missing was I had to work, and then I was too tired from working and I just felt my body needed rest, and then I just didn’t want to go, so I stopped. But I was still allowing Jesus to use me on social media. The only time I could feel Jesus is when someone would speak to me though the Holy Ghost, or when the Holy Ghost would get ahold of me and use me. Other than that, I was numb to God.

I began to question him. Jesus, I’ve held on for 4 years, when are you going to save my household? When are you going to move my husband into that bold spiritual leader that I need? When Jesus, are you going to move on what you told me you would. I began to rant and cry within my heart. Jesus, when are you going to full-fill your word to me? Am I not good enough Jesus? You died for me Jesus, but you don’t care enough to see, that I need movement? I’ve tried keeping a clean house Jesus, and you never answered then, and I’ve read my bible, even digging deep into the word. I’ve fasted, I’ve held onto you in the past, only to have you forget who I am right now as I am battling this storm. And now Jesus, you’re letting me Go. Why did I hold on all these years, only if you’re going to just let me go now? I knew you was going to turn me away like everyone else has.

I went to bed around 5am on December 31st, and woke up around 1PM. I went to bed the night prior praying, and woke up the next morning praying. Barely hanging on to Jesus, I still prayed. In reality I wasn’t hanging on. The thread on the hem of his garment was wrapped around me, to the point of me losing blood flow, and it was about to break, and I was going to bleed out, and die in my sins.

I’ll never forget today as long as I live. I woke up to messages asking me if I was coming to the watch service tonight at church. Of course, I was going. I wouldn’t miss that for anything. Still broken, and even if I didn’t go anymore after that, I’d rather be in church praying out the old year and in the new year, than anywhere else on earth. I began to talk to my husband and ask him to go with me. And I broke down into tears, I told him how much it meant to me, all while begging God for a reason to go on, and begging him for something, anything. Jesus, just show me there is reason to go on with this walk with you, please, show me you’re going to lead him in like you promised me! I told my husband, this is very important to me, it’s not like I’m trying to sway you into joining where I go, I just want you there with me and I want the baby there, so we are together as a family in the house of God, praising him as the clock clicks over. I ranted and told him; I need more from you. But still in reality I was also still telling Jesus I need more from you too. Not make it worth it, cause Jesus alone makes it worth it, but just show me you are moving because if I don’t get something, I’m going to let go, the pain is so unbearable, and I can’t take it anymore. God I’m broken. I’m done. Unless you do something, I can’t do this anymore. — This is when I let go of God. I backslid. Last night he used me to deliver a message, and today at approximately 3PM I backslid. The pain of waiting on God, I let Go.

Danny spoke and said, “If I do go, I do not want a bunch of people in my face.” Those words gave me hope. I began to ask people pray. When Sara messaged me after work, I called her and began to talk to her and tell her, he may go with me tonight, and I just needed God to move and show me something. I asked her to come in unity with me, as I anointed my head and prayed before going to church. We spoke of things we were to pray about and then began to pray. The bible tells us that if any two of you shall touch and agree upon anything according to God’s will, it shall be given. That’s why this agreement in prayer was so crucial, and critical.

Two of the many things we were going to pray and agree upon was: 1. My conviction, & 2. God to let Danny go to church and plant a seed within him even if he didn’t get saved that night.

I annointed my head, and we began to pray. We prayed for my conviction, and for Danny, and we prayed over all other things we had spoken about, and then went back to my conviction for me to follow after Jesus, and then for God to let Danny go to church with me tonight on New Years Eve and plant a seed in him: Thats when it happened, I was given a vision. While I’ve had several dreams, and saw many things, never nothing like this. And it happened as I spoke Danny’s name and the seed. I saw an aged tree from the side. The tree was sitting upon a bank, nothing else around it, and the sky behind it was a night sky deep dark blue, the grass beneath the tree withered and dark greenish/brown, the branches and limbs were all bare a dark color of brown/black, and the trunk was broad with the same brown/black color. But the roots beneath it was what stood out the most, one side of the roots where small, they had no depth in the earth, but right out from the smaller roots, there were longer roots, much longer roots that extended into the earth.

I told Sara immediately what I saw, and how it flashed before 2 times, and how I saw it clear. I told her I was going to draw this out, and then send her a picture. As I collected my stuff to prepare to draw this image out, I didn’t know where to begin, except to ask Jesus to help me put in on paper. And he delivered, with his help I drew out the image I had seen, but again something happened, when I got on Facebook, I was given a quote to go with it, and it lined up perfectly with what we had prayed and agreed upon, the planting of the seed. The quote that was given to me was: We cannot force someone to hear a message they are not ready to receive, but we must never underestimate the power of planting a seed. I knew Jesus was going to do something. & Danny started getting ready for church shortly afterwards.

The message at church on December 31st, 2021, was about 2nd chances, and as we go into the year 2022, God is giving us 2nd chances. It was about the prodigal son. The one who knew the father, but chose to get his inheritance early, only to waste it away on everything he didn’t need, only to be left eating with the swine. Then he remembered his Father. He was thinking his father wouldn’t welcome him back, and he was planning on just asking him to let him be his servant, instead of his son. He had sinned against his Father by failing to listen to him and choosing to do things on his own instead of how his father instructed. But the Father who’s love for his son was endless, met his son in the field, and before the son could ever reach him, he opened his arms up, and welcomed him home, not as a servant, but as one who had never left, and he gave to him to eat the best of the best, and invited him to sit back down at his table, also as one who had never left. You see, the son was a saint who knew the Father, but chose he wanted everything early before the Father’s timing, only he didn’t know what to do with it and he wasn’t prepared to receive what he did, so quickly, he became lost in it. When he came to his senses, he remembered his Father and went home thinking, he wouldn’t ever be good enough again. Again, that wasn’t so, like the bible says, his mercy endureth forever, and he’s married unto the backslider, and so he welcomed this dead son back and breathed new life back into him, and once again he became a saint. And he saw he was worthy of his Fathers love, not only that I don’t believe the son ever left the father after that.

Tonight, I was the Prodigal son, but tonight there was a seed that was planted within my husband, and when the time is right god will grow it. I know this because, I was pleading with God over these 2 things, and my husband watched me fall to my knees infront of the whole church, crying out to God, he watched those altars be opened, and me give my life back to god infront of him. He watched God’s redeeming power upon his own wife. And I know God will water this seed that’s been planted within him, in his timing, when he’s ready to recieve it.

I now know without a seed of doubt in my heart that everything God has ever spoken over my life will come to past. When 2021 came to a close, I had perfect peace from my Father in heaven who met me at the altar with arms wide opened. And as I lay my head to rest, I know he’s going to hold me, he’s growing me, and my season has now turned to spring.

Jesus, I believe ❤ ❤ ❤

If you’re that prodigal, remember you’re not too far gone, and Jesus has his arms opened waiting for you, and he wants you to come back to him. He sees you afar off, and he saw you fall, but he wants to redeem you back.

May God’s light continue to shine to you always!

Remember, I love you and Jesus loves you more ❤

❤ Christie

In this life the hardest thing that we will ever have to let go of is the flesh within ourselves. This includes all of our fleshly desires, thoughts, ambitions and goals, and everything we think our lives should be and look like.

Letting go doesn’t always mean the end of us, it means a new beginning. To what one may ask. My answer is to a world of new open doors.

Jesus has been dealing with me hard on “letting go”.

A few years ago, when God spoke to me concerning a few things, he told me to read the book of Ecclesiastes. A little background on Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes in Hebrew translates to the preacher. It was written by Solomon who was King in Jerusalem. Ecclesiastes teaches us that our own lives are futile or in other words, our works are destined to perish. “All is vanity”, a famous quote from this book means all is vain. The works that we ourselves do in our own selves are vain, and all together unprofitable to the helping of others. This is not to say that what we do cannot help others, but if we are seeking to help others in the kingdom of God, we cannot have the mind state of doing things in ourselves. Our work is to be done in the Lord, and lead by the spirit of the Lord. –I’m not sure if I have lost you there so let me go farther. Ecclesiastes also speaks about intellectual accomplishments, wealth and luxury, politics, and religion. It touches on all aspects of this life we live while here on the 3rd rock from the sun, the Earth.

The next few points, and explanations about the book of Ecclesiastes I have taken from my study bible. When speaking of intellectual accomplishments, Ecclesiastes tell confirms that wisdom will help us cope with life, but it also tells us that the wise person and all of his works, just like the fools will perish. Ecclesiastes tell us that wealth does not give a person purpose. Actually, wealth often causes a person more grief. While one needs money to survive, we are to use it to maintain a simple lifestyle rather than a bold luxurious one. Ecclesiastes tells us that government is necessary, but political power is constitutionally corrupting, and the worst evils in this world are often committed by cruel people with power. Ecclesiastes instructs us on how to survive or live in this type of world and live a peaceable life a mist the corruption that is going on around us. Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 tells us the whole duty of man is to fear God and keep his commandments, and God will bring into judgement every work, even the secret works, whether its evil or good.

Lately, I’ve been living the lifestyle of Solomon in his days of Vanity, minus the drunkenness. I’ve given myself over to luxuries, new cellphone, new watch (one I barely use, it’s a little too high-tech for me, and I’m a CNA, so I can count my heartrate without my watch doing it for me. I know to go to a hospital without my watch telling me to. Please smile that was meant for humor.) I’ve gave myself over to nice clothes, fancy restaurants. I’ve allowed myself to experience the pleasures of this world in the last 2 months and Ecclesiastes tells me all this is vanity and vain. At the end of the day, I am still left wanting more, meaning there is no profit for my soul found in it. My soul is still hungry for more. My soul is still thirsty for the thing’s money cannot buy or purchase, and my soul is still left hungry for Jesus. While in pursuit of vanity, I left my pursuit of Jesus. I left the pursuit of my first true love and went on the pursuit of the love of the world and all that it had to offer, and all has been vanity, and all has been all together unprofitable.

Ecclesiastes teaches me that there is a season for everything in our-lives. And during these seasons we are to remember God. Whether the season are big or small, painful, or easy. We are to seek God and his plans rather than our own.

Right now, I’m in the biggest growth season of my walk as a child of God. In this season I’ve been in winter, and its nearing its end, I’m not sure how much longer it will last, but I feel that my spring is about to come, refer to chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes, and it’s a painful one. I’ve grown cold and bitter during my winter, and even have felt distant from Christ. During my winter, God has torn up my fallow ground. I’ve went into hibernating, trying to salvage what is left of my former self, only to realize that I have to let go of my former self (remember it, where it came from, but let it go.) My Spring will start out cold, but slowly get warmer. But as I transition from one season from the next, I’m growing. In my spring seeds will be planted, and watered, and what has been planted will grow, by the hands of God. I’m in the process of becoming the Kingdom Woman God has called me to be.

As I bring this writing to a close, I want you to remember, whatever season you are in, it will change but you have to be willing to change as the season changes, or else you will wither up, plucked up, and something else will take place where you were once planted.

Think about the parable in the New Testament that Jesus left us in the book of Matthew 13:6-9 “A certain man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard; and he came and sought fruit thereon, and found none. Then said he unto the dresser of his vineyard, Behold, these three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and find none: cut it down, why cumbereth it in the ground? And he answering said unto him, Lord, let it alone this year also, till I shall dig up the ground about it, and dung it: and if it bear fruit well: and if not; then after that thou shalt cut it down.

Do not risk getting cut down because you aren’t ready for the next season. Remember what we think about ourselves, and what God knows about us is different. You are ready says the Lord. Don’t be scared. For I am with you.

I am praying I’m able to live by example that he’s left me in his word. For without it, I’ll lead you nowhere except a devil’s hell. And I want NO ONE’S blood upon mine at the end of this life.

Remember I love you, &. Jesus loves you most.

❤ Christie

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve wrote. While I love writing, I cannot write if he doesn’t give me something. I don’t want anything to be out of myself, but I wish for everything to be beneficial for the Kingdom of Christ.

Jesus has begun my transition, and I believe that he wants to begin one with you also. In order to transition, sometimes we have to go into the Dark. We have to see that we have been crawling like a caterpillar, and then go into the cocoon of darkness where the breaking down begins to take place. During this breakdown things get sloppy and nasty. We have to allow ourselves to melt down from our former selves. We have to see ourselves through our own eyes and ask Jesus to take us through the process of removing how we see ourselves and replace it with how he sees us. And then when it’s said and done, let us fly where he would have us to fly.

The darkness and breakdowns aren’t easy. If it were easy, it would come naturally. The darkness is actually there to grow us, the breakdown is there to melt away everything we aren’t supposed to be, the transformation and building back up are for the comeback and are meant to lead us to our destinations.

Today Jesus began to talk to me about forgiveness. Saying you forgive others is easy, putting it into action is harder. You know what’s even harder? Saying you forgive yourself and putting that into action.

And this is the first step, forgiving ourselves. To forgive ourselves enables us to grow and move beyond any physical limits in our spiritual, emotional and physical walks in life. Only when we forgive ourselves will we be able to bloom into who God has called us to be. Without forgiving ourselves, we place limitations on what we are capable of. We will always live in that world of self-doubt, regret, limitation, fear, sometimes, solitude, but often setbacks.

Today God is saying “It’s time to forgive yourself, then will you begin to heal, and grow stronger in me” Part of the path that leads to completeness with Christ is digging deep into ourselves and looking at our own lives, our own mistakes, our own flaws, and our past decisions, our present decisions, and our future hopes, and asking him to begin to tear all that up, and show us ourselves in his image.

The question is how do we forgive ourselves? Jesus gave me an exercise earlier that I want to share with you. Feel free to pass this on if you chose.

“The Path to Self-Forgiveness”

Start with a piece of paper and a pen and begin to look deep into your heart and how you feel about yourself. Write this down, make a list if you need to. Then write what you feel is unforgiveable in God’s eyes. Next write what you cannot forgive about yourself. Now, the things you feel are unforgiveable in God’s eyes and the things you cannot forgive about yourself may be the same or different. Its ok to use multiple sheets of paper, and to make multiple lists. Take time to think during this process. Dig deep. Go into your hidden places, even your childhood, if need be, and ask God to show you things that you may not even realize are there. Invite the holy spirit to guide you in this process.

After writing these things, I want you to think about why you feel you are so unforgivable, and also write that down. For instance, you may write down you can’t forgive yourself for hurting someone you love, or you can’t forgive yourself for drug usage, or excessive weight loss. But what’s the reason you can’t do it? You may write I cannot forgive myself for hurting so and so because after I done it, they lost all hope, or they lost faith in me. or you may write I can’t forgive myself for drug usage because it has cost my family our home, and tore my children’s life in pieces, same way about the excessive weight loss (these are only examples) I cannot forgive myself for excessive weight loss because it made others think I was on drugs or anorexic, when in fact it was stress, I cannot forgive myself or excessive weight loss because at the time it made me feel good when it really lead to me being out of control trying to keep this perfect barbie image in this so mundane image of society.

Now, on a separate list, write all the things you think will happen if you are able to forgive yourself. Maybe you’ll be able to be more productive in your life and family. Maybe you’ll be able to get a better career, maybe just maybe you’ll step into a world of comfort and be free of all obstacles standing in your way. Take time to think on these things. Don’t rush.

After you have written all these things. I want you to look to the scriptures.

“If you forgive others the wrongs, they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done. Matthew 6: 14-15.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me-Philippians 4:13

We are more than conquers through Christ Jesus.–Romans 8:37

As far as the east is to the west, he has cast our sins away. -Psalms 103:12

Now after reading these verses, I want you to pray, God help me to forgive myself. I can say it, but I need you to make it a reality. Take the paper and shred it, and place part of it in one hand, and the other part in your other hand and separate your hands from the east to the west and throw it away.

It sounds easier than it is. Now begin to pray and ask God to reveal to you how he sees you, that love that he as for you, and ask him to make the forgiveness a reality. Look into a mirror and quote scripture over your life. I can forgive myself through Christ who strengthens me. I am more than a conquer through Christ Jesus. Jesus because you tell me to forgive my enemies, today I forgive myself. I am my own enemy. Because Christ forgives me, I am able, and I chose to forgive myself.

This will take days, maybe months, but the outcome will be greater than the beginning. Speak it into existence daily. David encouraged himself in the Lord, now is the time you encourage yourself in the Lord. You see, the word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword, it cuts going in and it cuts coming out, allowing us to bleed out, but allowing us to heal in the image of Jesus himself. And sometimes the person we need to cut with that sword is ourselves. Over time this will get easier. And over time you will be able to step into your calling.

To everything there is a season, but seasons change, and we are supposed to grow with them, not swim in them.

Transition stage one-forgive yourself.

https://www.facebook.com/100019386261965/videos/306670298019066/

I often like to reflect upon the Lord before beginning to write. I want to write about the things he lays upon my heart, in the context he would have me to write. Whether, its brutal honestly, dramatic, traumatic, sadness, or joyful experiences, I pray he leads in all my writings. I know if God is leading, then he’s got a purpose for it. And it’s going to help someone.

God’s been pressing on me to open up about my darkness, and about his light. You see, we as humans don’t always choose darkness, often and unfortunately, and for whatever circumstances and reasons it chooses us, for what reasons, I cannot tell you. But what I can tell you from my personal experience is, Jesus doesn’t want us to remain in the darkness. Jesus wants to use us and our experiences with darkness, and our experiences with him, and his faith and his light, to lead others out and to him. Sometimes he allows us to go into darkness, momentarily to grab the hand of the lost, the forgotten, the abandoned, the abused, the shattered, the lifeless, the broken, the widow, the friend, our family, our foes, and even random strangers, in order to lead them closer to him.

Choosing to live in darkness isn’t wrong, sometimes we grow stuck, and that’s ok. Sometimes darkness is where we become alive, and sometimes darkness is where we are able to live. It doesn’t mean we’re not human, and it doesn’t mean that we don’t have faith, it doesn’t mean we don’t love, or that we are uncapable of loving. It can mean that the darkness comforts us as much as it plagues us. It can also mean that there’s more that meets the eye, and it can mean brokenness.

Darkness can also be a rare form of beauty that the rare eye is able to see. I want you to take a minute to vision the Holy Alter of Heaven where Jesus sits on his throne, and the pure river of water of life, the water that is clear as crystal, that proceeds from the throne of God and from the Lamb. Think about that pure and precious oil that is now being poured out into the earth from the alter of heaven. Now think about process of how the oil was made. Follow Me, I promise I’m going somewhere with this. In the bible we have two types of Olive trees, the natural olive tree, and the wild one. The natural olive tree is God’s chosen people (Israel, who also rejected Jesus). The wild olive tree is the ones who have been grafted in (the heathen, aka, you and I,) Both parts have equal access to the throne of heaven and both parts experience the crushing that takes in order to get to the purest of oil. Let’s look farther into the crushing of olives. Olive oil comes from the olive fruit, hence my above reference to the olive trees in the bible. When you press on the olive, you won’t find oil, only Bitter fruit, (sound familiar, darkness and bitterness are often associated.) To get to the oil the fruit and the seed have to be crushed by a great weight in an olive press, the crushing also removes any bitterness that’s in the fruit. (Sound familiar.) I’m not saying people go through traumas to mold them, but sometimes our situations can bring out bitterness we would have never known was buried so deep within, except we live through what happened. Now somethings are just unexplainable, such as the loss of loved ones, kids, or spouse, or other relatives, and or a child being raped and abused that didn’t deserve it. That kind of stuff is out of left field and it shouldn’t happen to anyone. Also, you see, being broken can be beautiful and painful at once, being broken can be life changing, and life altering. Being broken can be deathly but also just as lively to those who allow it to bring them alive. —

Let me say I can only make the statement about being alive, after allowing Jesus to start bringing me out of darkness after 30 years. I’m only 36 years old. — I recommend reading my blog about Shattered Innocence to understand how a 6-year-old can possibly began to walk in the dark. Recently Jesus, has started using me for healing, not just any healing, for my own healing, and for the healing of others, and for his glory. Is it painful, one of most painful experiences, I’ve ever had to do.. Revisiting every painful moment from my childhood up to present and even the ones to come, digging deep into my PTSD, buried memories that have taken a lifetime to mask. It tearful, but there’s beauty in the disaster of my mind, there’s beauty in the testimony, and I pray my testimony and darkness becomes the light in the darkness of others.

Listen to Mercy Me-The Hurt and Healer; and really soak up the lyrics to it, and let the Lord begin to speak to you.

“Why, the question that is never far away. The healing doesn’t come from the explained. Jesus please don’t let this go in vain. You’re all I have, all that remains. So here I am, what’s left of me. Where glory meets my suffering. I’m alive, even though a part of me has died. You take my heart and breathe it back to life. I fall into your arms open wide. When the hurt and the healer collide. Breathe, sometimes, I feel it’s all that I can do. Pain so deep that I can hardly move, Just keep my eyes completely fixed on you, Lord take hold and pull me through. In the moment when humanity is overcome, by majesty, When grace is ushered in for good and all our scars are understood. When mercy takes it rightful place and all these questions fade away. When out of the weakness we must bow and hear You say its over now. Jesus come and break my fear, Wake my heart and take my tears. Find your glory even here. when the hurt and the healer collide.”

❤ A little Chloe to Brighten Your day ❤ –So far, she’s not gotten back into my Christmas Tree again. ❤

❤ Christie

The night was dark, and we were in bed for school the next day. Why I awoke I’ll never know why. This is the beginning of my shattered innocence.

(Trigger warning, some descriptions may be heavy for the human heart to hold).

6 years old, and still a baby, sharing a bedroom with my big sister, in what I thought was a normal world, in a normal home. Something woke me up, was it God? If it was God, Why did he allow me to see the events that quickly unfolded before my eyes?

“Hold still, let me get it in”- Those words still pierce my heart, was I really seeing this, and what if he knows I’m watching, will he do the same to me? I woke up to a nightmare, every little girl’s worst fear. My stepdad who I loved dearly, and looked up to was sitting perched on my sister’s bed, with his hand over her mouth, and the other one over her body. His body was sideways as he kept a glance on me to see if I was awake.

With my hair hanging over my face, I watched through the strands, shutting my eyes tight when I’d see his head begin to turn towards me. Please don’t let him touch me, God please don’t. Why is he doing that, and why isn’t she making a scene? I don’t understand, that’s my dad, or so I’ve lead to believe he is since, my daddy doesn’t live with us. Daddy’s don’t do that, I may be young, but I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to happen, who can I tell? Should I tell her I know, and what will be her reaction. Maybe if I shut my eyes hard enough and go back to sleep all this will go back away. Yeah, maybe that’s the answer to it.— NOPE Absolutely NOT!!

What I witnessed that night forever changed my child hood. My eyes we’re opened and my innocence was lost. I knew something funny was up, and I knew I wasn’t living in a perfect world. I began to watch and observe for more things that were out of place, some day’s I’d be a kid, others I’d be on guard.

I noticed my sister always going everywhere he went, and I didn’t understand why, I was too scared to tell anyone for a long time, then one day when I had actually gotten to spend the night at my cousin’s house, she told me she had a secret to tell me, my stepdad had been raping my sister. Apparently, she had talked to a few people but never me. I’m guessing because I was so young. That was a whistle blower for me, I had to do something to get help, and I had to help her. I was young, but I knew right from wrong, and that wasn’t right. It was beyond wrong. I mentioned it to my mother first, — Buddy was that the dumbest thing I had ever done. – Not only did it cause a scene, but she didn’t believe it, it only got us girls in more trouble, and the few people that were supposed to stand by me and my sister, played the comfort to us, talking a big game of helping us get help, but in all actuality, they bailed out the next day, and didn’t come around for a few days. I’m assuming the allowed the drama to settle, and they picked friends over doing the right thing.

Years, went on, I was almost 12, what I saw only got worse and worse, and worst of all he knew I knew too. Between the age of 6-12, I often layed in bed, wondering and talking to a man named God that I never knew. Asking him why my parents done the things that they done. Often thinking about getting revenge myself, (relax, I didn’t do it, but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t have thought crazy thoughts too.) I believe what kept me going all those nights was my prayers to God. How I communicated with him.

I noticed a change in my sisters behavior over the years too, she was rebellious, (most girls get this way as they age, but this was a little different too) she was allowed to do things I wasn’t, they turned her loose, to hang out and party with her friends. I really remember her 8th grade prom, how supposably she left to go hang out with her boyfriend and lost her virginity, pathedic people, my stepdad took that. They were all ignorant, and in denial, she was lost in a world of pain, (I cannot blame her, nor resent her, but I just didn’t understand her at the time).. I was left to defend myself with only a prayer.

There was several times he’d talk about my body even in front of my mother, and she just allowed it happen, one occasion was when the power was off in the winter and we all had to sleep in the living room where the gas was. My mom slept on the couch, us girls on a mattress in the living room floor and my stepdad slept in his chair. He tried saying I was playing with my “titties” in the middle of the night. What was he even doing looking, and why did my mom allow him to talk that way about her babies in front of her. Talk about red flags going up.

By the time my sister was 16 she was an alcoholic, and on other drugs too when occasion permitted, I’m pretty sure my step-dad fed her those drugs, as part of a plea deal to keep her mouth shut and her legs opened.

When my sister was 16, and me 12 years old, she run away from home. She ran away to Florida. And she never had to come back. She left me and I was all alone to defend for myself. Thats when another stage of Hell broke out. I was always on guard. I began to sleep with knives, forks, scissors, tweezers, and anything else I could get my hands on that was sharp, and able to pierce the body. Id often fight my sleep to the point of me laying there above my body watching over my own body as it slept but my mind was awake. I suffered lucid dreams, and hit depression, and went on my own downward spiral. I started getting into medicine cabinets, and picked up cigerates. I just wanted to feel something other than being human, because the human in me hurt. She was miserable, she was confused, and she was broken.

I remember my friends coming over to stay the night, ( I was never allowed to go to their house because my parents always thought I’d get into something, and they didn’t have the gas to run after me, they kept me doped up on that kiddy crack from an early age, always trying to cheat the system out of a check for me; nothing was wrong with me except impaired healing and PTSD from watching the nonsense I had to witness.– but to tell them that, is to hear them say what a liar and I was seeking attention. – My friends would come to me and say “Man something is wrong with your stepdad, he touched my arm or he looked at me funny, luckily some of these girls were holler girls so they understood, when I told them to stay away from him, but please don’t leave me alone with him.

My sister moved back to Kentucky after I was 16, and her closer to 20, only for me to watch her and my stepdad go in private at towards the end of the driveway, in exchange for drugs and moonshine. I wasn’t ignorant. I grew to be discusted with her, and often told her I saw it, as she denied it. Still it wasn’t her fault, she was was lost in that world, and far too gone to come out of it, drugs were her therapy, her antidote, and he was her familiar, even though he was also her predator.

At the age of 16, I followed my sister’s footsteps, I ran away to only to be made come back home because my family depended on the SSI check I had coming in for my ears. I’ll never forget it, I ran away with my stepdad’s nephew, and made it to Florida just like my sister, and the high times began. and I didn’t have a care in the world except not returning home. If someone was going to touch me at least it wasn’t someone who was supposed to be a role model / dad-figure to me. Child protective services quickly got involved with me, and I was made come home, but not before me spending my 16th Christmas in Detention in Florida. I still praise God for the experience of being in Detention. It taught me I never wanted to end up behind bars. — knock on wood I’ve not gone back.

When I was just a few days shy of turning 18, I met my first husband, and we started dating, — After I turned 18, he started coming over and staying the night with me. For a long time, my mom wouldn’t let us sleep together but they would give us “alone time to do the nasty”, which made no sense at all. On one morning while sleeping on the couch, I remember feeling someone touch my breast. I was asleep, but instantly started fighting to get up, As I began to move, whoever it was moved fast back across the room, making one big mistake, they stepped on the furnace, (it wasn’t in use, but it made a distinct noise, meaning whoever it was went across it and not behind it). I got up within a few minutes, and as I got up I checked the sounds the floor made, as I stepped in certain spots. Behind the furnace didn’t do anything, but in front of the furnace where my stepdads chair was made the squeaking, weakened floor noise. I immediately ask my boyfriend at the time, if it was him, (I knew better he was dead asleep), when he said no, it was confirmed to me. From then on out I slept with my boyfriend at night and rebelled. I was 18, and wasn’t going to have it any other way or chance it. Within a few weeks my mom got over it.

Over the years my stepdad would ask my boyfriend about me and say the most awful stuff in front of my mom ever. He knew he could get away with it, and he knew she wouldn’t say nothing, it bothered me but what could I do? I remember having my first son also, I was about 21, and he was tongue tied, and had to have his tongue clipped. My sister was holding him and my stepdad made said stupid crap again right in front of my mother, this time he was referring to what he would do if he were my kid up against my sister’s breast and how he would sucky, sucky on them, and my mom just acted like it was normal and ok. It was then I got my kid out of her arms and almost blew up. I said something to her too, and had to fight to not lose all respect for her. I wasn’t raising my kids to think that was ok.

Fast forward to November 2008, my stepdad got sick, real sick. He had to have surgery on his lungs. I had moved out by then with my son and was pregant with my daughter, and wasn’t on the best of terms with them. That call I’ll never forget.

“He’s dying, if you want to see him you better get to the hospital”

I went to that hospital, 7 months pregnant, the nurses tried to stop me from going in there, and I told them I had to go see him,

With life support on him, seeing him fight for his breath, his eyes opened, he knew I was there, I sat and talked with him for the last time.

My last words to my stepdad- the man who I watched molest my sister, and the one mentally, verbally, abused me, not to mentioned tried to get a cheap feel of me, and lastly but not least, the one who shattered my innocence, was: “I love you, and I forgive you, I’ll take care of my mother.”

I left that hospital with a burden off my chest I had carried for years. I was free, not becasue he was dying but because I had forgave him, and I meant it.

He died the next day, that was the day after my mother’s birthday. I was 22 years old.

To this day, I can tell you a thousand good things the man done as compared to the bad things he done, beginning with, he really loved her, my mother. he may not have shown it, but he took care of her, and I didn’t worry about her like I do now.

Nowadays she’s taken up with someone who’s mean to her and all I can do is avoid her and pray for her. She’s still in denial about life, and I’ve grown to overlook it, and pray and go on.

One day while on the way back home from running errands, Jesus spoke to me and told me ‘no one is to lost to be saved,” I asked him who and he told me Joey. Joey is my moms boyfriend.. I now pray for him too.

❤ Revelation 12:11- And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb, and by the word of their testimony, and they loved not their lives unto death. ❤

❤ Christie

God has really been using songs to speak to my weary heart lately.

Tonight before bed, while drowning out my brokenness, “Stillness, by Lion & Bear came on.. Read along with the lyrics, and listen to it on your time if you will..

“Another day, I woke up with feelings, I don’t recall. I try to remember feeling better, But I can’t at all. ; I keep waiting for a moment to catch my breath, Slow down my mind, My heart is tired after all these years of running, and running, and running, and running, and running, So lets take some time to rest in the stillness. — There is nothing I can’t do when I’m resting in the stillness, There is nothing you won’t do when to keep me, to keep me in the stillness.– People are saying, things will get better, I hold on to hope for a future where things are brighter, I don’t know where to go.– I keep waiting for a moment to catch my breath, and slow down my mind, my heart is tired after all these years, of running, running, and running, so lets take some time to rest in the stillness.–There is nothing I can’t do when I’m resting in the stillness, There is nothing you won’t do to keep me, keep me in the stillness. I’ll search, I’ll find rest, I’ll search and find rest in the stillness.”

God is taking me through this season of stillness, its been hard, and the end of it is harder than ever. I want to run, I want to scream, I’ve planned to die, but God is greater, and he’s telling me “Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, I’m nigh unto the broken hearted.” This storm can’t last forever.

Today, while a Walmart, I saw some owl ornaments that matched my Christmas tree, and I purchased them, along with a snow globe with owls, and also some owl charms, that I intend to hang around the rearview mirror of my car. While looking at the owl charms, I also saw butterflies. I just smile and thank God for this. —

I don’t go looking for the signs, they just appear to me, sometimes I even cry. Nevertheless, I’ll press on towards the mark of the high-calling Jesus has on my life.

I’ll learn through the pain, and try to dance in the rain. I’ll walk the isles of the church when Jesus says walk, and humble myself before the altar when he says kneel. He has became my strength and my portion forever.-

I’m finally emerging from the cocoon I’ve been stuck in, and breaking free.. I’m beginning to fly–

❤ God didn’t promise us days without pain, laughter, or sorrow, nor sun without rain ❤ But he did promise us strength for days, comfort for the tears, and light for the way ❤

❤ God promises to make something good out of the storms that bring devastation to your life. ❤ Romans 8:28

Remember I love you all, & Jesus loves you Most!

❤ Christie

Sometimes, I’m followed. But that’s ok. You following me has been one of the greatest blessings in my life, you following me, has been the sweetest calms in the biggest and most raging storms of all my days. I praise God for my followers, and I thank him for gracing me with your presence. Jesus knows I needed this or I would have never held on. He’s used you to even help me hold to him in my darkest of dark days, and I know he’ll continue to use you even if my dark days get pitch black, or turn snow white. — Though I never knew any of you, apart of my heart will always care and appreciate all the help you have given me, and even if the signs stop appearing, I’ll be forever changed by the experience of Hope and faith, I’ve been given though my Journey with the Lord, and how he’s used all of you to mold me when I’ve been coming undone, and being made whole — Thank you so much.

Meet Chloe – I got a feral kitten about 7 months ago and named him lucky, little did I know God was going to use Lucky to lead me to her.. Lucky was feral and too mean for the inside, so I decided to go on a quest for a kitten for Lucky, a buddy, a mate. While scrolling through Facebook looking for a Siamese looking kitten, I randomly came across this post with a white kitten, named “Chloe”, the owner was wanting to rehome her. Initially her looks stood out, then I saw her name and knew the Lord was speaking to me again. I contacted the owner immediately and asked if she was serious, because she was so pretty. She had this glow about her. Sure enough, she was serious and we made plans for me to pick her up the following day after I got off work.

Lucky meeting Chloe didn’t go so well, Lucky got meaner, and was even more feral, so I had to place him outside, where he quickly adapted and is no longer feral (for the most part.)..

Chloe on the other hand was different, she stood out. She was calm, non-aggressive, and had this personality that drew you in. Everyone that comes to my house loves Chloe, her looks are adorable but she’s soft paws. She doesn’t sink her claws into you. She’ll play and act like she’s eating you up, but in reality she’s only hugging you with her paws and not using claws to dig in (unless you have pork rinds, yeah she’ll eat you for those, and tear into my garbage if she smells them ❤ )

At first it was, you’re not getting in the bed with me, less than a week later, and from there on out she like to sleep with me and wake me up about 3am every morning just letting me know she’s there and purring in my face, that’s her routine. I can count on Chloe. Usually I respond with “I love you too Chloe, but I gotta work and you gotta lay down.” Sometimes, she even decides to lay on my chest, or just sleep at my feet.

Eli loves Chloe, they’re best friends, she’s his buddy, but my Baby. I could have searched the whole world over and never found another like her. She’s perfect. The right about of spunk, and the right amount of Sugars.

These past few months have really been the hardest for me, spiritual battle after spiritual battle, attack after attack. I know I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, but sometimes I just wonder when I’ll catch a break.

The morning after starting my blogs on here, all hell broke lose in my house (coincidence, I think Not!) I got so upset, I was ready to lose it all, and throw in the towel, and say No More, and Lights out. (let me tell you, I’m a warrior for Christ, for me to be ready to say that, know the storm was rough, and if I hadn’t came out of one almost as bad as that a few days earlier, I wouldn’t have survived this one.).. Never the less, I blocked a few of my closest of friends, my ride or dies, and said thank you, and they went to praying. — I went to my bedroom, with my airpods and Ipod, and these songs started playing that I hadn’t heard before. I’m a gospel music buff. I love the old hymns, but I also love the new stuff too. I just love Jesus music. Did you know they also had dance fit, Jesus music? Let me tell you, me and these thunder thighs of mine are all for that. ❤

Sailing back to my story, during this storm of storms, after I went to my bedroom, the spiritual, and emotional pain was so bad that it became a physical ache in my body. I quickly became balled up, holding my knees tight to my chest, crying my eyes out, wishing I was dead, while hiding myself in the floor on the side of my husbands bed.– I was paralyzed, I couldn’t move, I didn’t want to move. My husband had just told me he wished that dream would come true, what dream you ask? The one that the Lord showed my sister in Christ, and my 6 year old son that I was going to die, by me going in the water and never coming back out. I will not pretend to be a perfect little Christian, he cut me deep, and I retaliated, but not with words that harsh, I’m mean but I’m not that mean. My husband wished me dead. & I was going to give it to him, as soon as I picked myself up from questioning God why me while, being helpless in the floor. –

Then here came Jesus and Chloe.- ❤ Weary Traveler by Jordan St. Cyr started playing in my ears. First the lyrics started standing out to me, I Knew Jesus was speaking to me.. “Weary traveler, Beat down from the storms that you have weathered. Feels like this road might go on forever, Carry on. You keep on giving, But every day this world just keeps on taking. Your tired heart is on the edge of breaking. Carry on. Weary Traveler, restless soul, you were never meant to walk this road alone. It will all be worth it, so just hold on. Weary traveler, you wont be weary long.” – ; Chloe also positioned her self in my lap, my legs now stretched out on the floor so she could get comfy, and she was super loveable, and carried a calm in her that stood out to me, almost as though she was sent to pet on me, instead of me petting on her. You see, during this time of the day the kitten in her usually comes out ,she’s still in that adolescence stage; but not this day, She was my peace, I needed Chloe this day. A shift came upon my heart so strong, I knew I had to tell my friends I was ok, and I knew then God had more for me, so I dusted myself off, and went to church, remembering what Jesus had just done for me, and praising him all the way.

I don’t know what my future holds, but I know the one who holds my future. I know I can trust him in my darkest of times, and I refuse to be silent about what Jesus does for me. He is my story and he is my song. I’ll be praising my savior all my days long..

As for Chloe, I’ve placed my Christmas tree up, and before I could get anything on it, she made her way into it. Heaven help me, the tree will go before she goes. ❤ ❤ ❤

I love you all, & remember Jesus loves you Most.

❤ Christie