The Hurt and the Healer

I often like to reflect upon the Lord before beginning to write. I want to write about the things he lays upon my heart, in the context he would have me to write. Whether, its brutal honestly, dramatic, traumatic, sadness, or joyful experiences, I pray he leads in all my writings. I know if God is leading, then he’s got a purpose for it. And it’s going to help someone.

God’s been pressing on me to open up about my darkness, and about his light. You see, we as humans don’t always choose darkness, often and unfortunately, and for whatever circumstances and reasons it chooses us, for what reasons, I cannot tell you. But what I can tell you from my personal experience is, Jesus doesn’t want us to remain in the darkness. Jesus wants to use us and our experiences with darkness, and our experiences with him, and his faith and his light, to lead others out and to him. Sometimes he allows us to go into darkness, momentarily to grab the hand of the lost, the forgotten, the abandoned, the abused, the shattered, the lifeless, the broken, the widow, the friend, our family, our foes, and even random strangers, in order to lead them closer to him.

Choosing to live in darkness isn’t wrong, sometimes we grow stuck, and that’s ok. Sometimes darkness is where we become alive, and sometimes darkness is where we are able to live. It doesn’t mean we’re not human, and it doesn’t mean that we don’t have faith, it doesn’t mean we don’t love, or that we are uncapable of loving. It can mean that the darkness comforts us as much as it plagues us. It can also mean that there’s more that meets the eye, and it can mean brokenness.

Darkness can also be a rare form of beauty that the rare eye is able to see. I want you to take a minute to vision the Holy Alter of Heaven where Jesus sits on his throne, and the pure river of water of life, the water that is clear as crystal, that proceeds from the throne of God and from the Lamb. Think about that pure and precious oil that is now being poured out into the earth from the alter of heaven. Now think about process of how the oil was made. Follow Me, I promise I’m going somewhere with this. In the bible we have two types of Olive trees, the natural olive tree, and the wild one. The natural olive tree is God’s chosen people (Israel, who also rejected Jesus). The wild olive tree is the ones who have been grafted in (the heathen, aka, you and I,) Both parts have equal access to the throne of heaven and both parts experience the crushing that takes in order to get to the purest of oil. Let’s look farther into the crushing of olives. Olive oil comes from the olive fruit, hence my above reference to the olive trees in the bible. When you press on the olive, you won’t find oil, only Bitter fruit, (sound familiar, darkness and bitterness are often associated.) To get to the oil the fruit and the seed have to be crushed by a great weight in an olive press, the crushing also removes any bitterness that’s in the fruit. (Sound familiar.) I’m not saying people go through traumas to mold them, but sometimes our situations can bring out bitterness we would have never known was buried so deep within, except we live through what happened. Now somethings are just unexplainable, such as the loss of loved ones, kids, or spouse, or other relatives, and or a child being raped and abused that didn’t deserve it. That kind of stuff is out of left field and it shouldn’t happen to anyone. Also, you see, being broken can be beautiful and painful at once, being broken can be life changing, and life altering. Being broken can be deathly but also just as lively to those who allow it to bring them alive. —

Let me say I can only make the statement about being alive, after allowing Jesus to start bringing me out of darkness after 30 years. I’m only 36 years old. — I recommend reading my blog about Shattered Innocence to understand how a 6-year-old can possibly began to walk in the dark. Recently Jesus, has started using me for healing, not just any healing, for my own healing, and for the healing of others, and for his glory. Is it painful, one of most painful experiences, I’ve ever had to do.. Revisiting every painful moment from my childhood up to present and even the ones to come, digging deep into my PTSD, buried memories that have taken a lifetime to mask. It tearful, but there’s beauty in the disaster of my mind, there’s beauty in the testimony, and I pray my testimony and darkness becomes the light in the darkness of others.

Listen to Mercy Me-The Hurt and Healer; and really soak up the lyrics to it, and let the Lord begin to speak to you.

“Why, the question that is never far away. The healing doesn’t come from the explained. Jesus please don’t let this go in vain. You’re all I have, all that remains. So here I am, what’s left of me. Where glory meets my suffering. I’m alive, even though a part of me has died. You take my heart and breathe it back to life. I fall into your arms open wide. When the hurt and the healer collide. Breathe, sometimes, I feel it’s all that I can do. Pain so deep that I can hardly move, Just keep my eyes completely fixed on you, Lord take hold and pull me through. In the moment when humanity is overcome, by majesty, When grace is ushered in for good and all our scars are understood. When mercy takes it rightful place and all these questions fade away. When out of the weakness we must bow and hear You say its over now. Jesus come and break my fear, Wake my heart and take my tears. Find your glory even here. when the hurt and the healer collide.”

❤ A little Chloe to Brighten Your day ❤ –So far, she’s not gotten back into my Christmas Tree again. ❤

❤ Christie

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