Often and at some point, almost everyone experiences a point where we wish we could turn back the hands of time, and either slow the clock down, or stop it, in order to change the cycle of events that have taken place in our lives. We do this because, if we would have known outcome of the what if, we would have made different choices, and would have had different outcomes. Unfortunatly life isn’t so simple, and its not so logic. I would love to see in my future and know what steps to take and not what steps to take, lets be real. That just isn’t possible. So, what do we do?
That’s a good question, we are planted, and we grow, sometimes we uproot, and re-root, and try to replant deeper. But what if we get to a place where our roots are stuck and we just aren’t happy? What do we do then? We grow tired, and exhausted because we feel as though we are never going anywhere, and no change can possibly take place. Our roots get tough, and sometimes we even break, and lose any all roots, metaphorically speaking, making it almost impossible to replant anywhere else. Then the unfortunate takes place, because we have broken off from our old roots, we now can’t regrow, or re-root anywhere else, because we are only a shell of who we used to be, and because we have lost sight of who we are supposed to be.
The bigger question is why does this happen? Many things can factor into our roots being broken off, and the absence of who we used to be, such as trauma, death, loss of job, depression, rape, etc. Any or all of the previous mentioned topics can happen out of nowhere leaving us left with questions and no answers, and in the event, we do get answers, we still don’t have solutions on how to fix ourselves after such event has occurred.
So, what happens next to those who have been uprooted and can’t re-root, or to those that have been broken from their original resting place without rhyme or reason? They either grow dark, depressed, some commit suicide, some seek help, some attempt to transition, some get caught in the stand still phase where nothing makes sense anymore. These people have their ups and their downs, they have highs, and lows, they love (the best they can), and laugh (when their soul allows), they even live normal lives the best they can.
When your roots become broken and you’re stuck being a shell of whom you used to be, life can become a vicious cycle. You see people being happy and you get jealous and you wonder God that’s not fair. You see people being blessed, and you think God when is it my turn? You see people growing and you think, God… please just grow me. Anger sometimes happens, and rage. Isolation and socialization also happens, weight gain, weight loss, moodswings, bitterness, and such like rollercoaster emotions occur.
So how do we go beyond? And what if we don’t want to go beyond because we are afraid that we will lose sight of who we once were? What if who we once were is who we still long to be, knowing in reality, that can never again happen. Does it mean we have to let go and move on? ABSOULTLY NOT!! And no person should ever tell you to let go, and move on. No person should ever try to force you or blame you for what you are unable to do. Even if they have lived it, it’s almost impossible to fully understand your situation and your heart and what goes on inside your mind in the middle of the night or middle of the day when all the sudden reality brings your knees and makes you grab your chest in that sudden back to the past, while living in present moment.
I speak from experience and have lived and loved in darkness for so long that its consuming, but…what if there’s hope? What if there’s hope in “Transition and Metamorphosis?” What if through transitioning ourselves, metamorphosis can take place and we can grow instead of dying.
To understand let’s look closer to the meaning of both terms. Transition means the process or period of changing from one state or condition to another. Metamorphosis means a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one, by natural or supernatural means, my favorite meaning of metamorphosis refers to the butterfly; the process of transformation from an immature form to an adult form in two or more distinct stages.
We have to transition ourselves to a place where we can position ourselves to grow, allowing metamorphosis to take place. In which then we will be able to become the new person we are supposed to be. This sounds complicated, but is a process, that some doesn’t even know exist. — I didn’t know it either, but I feel like the Lord is leading me and helping me to understand the process and I feel as though he’s helping me explain it, as he gives it to me. This process is for me too.
Sometimes with transition and positioning we have to let people go that we long to hold on to, or allow people in that we want to cut off. My thing is to pray, and ask God to remove the hinderance from my life, and place those within my life that will help me grow into whom he desires for me to be.
Transitioning isn’t easy, one must be ready for it. Transitioning is a step of healing and it goes beyond acceptance. There are somethings that I don’t never want to accept, such as my grandmother’s cancer getting worse, or my daddy’s passing due to cancer, my sister not speaking to me and blaming me for her life, my mom, my broken home, you name it, darkness abounds. But in order to get the growth that I need, I have to transition myself to where I’m able to go beyond what’s happened, and let metamorphosis have its way and be changed into whom the Lord would have me to be, battle wounds and all. Does this mean I forget, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. Something’s I’ll always re-live. And in order to change, I’m going to have to relive most of the horrendous events, whether by meditation, or dreams, I’ve got to re-live it and I have to go beyond what my present says I’m bound to. As much as misery loves company, (Hi, I’m misery) Jesus also promised me peace, and that peace will only come if I allow him to take me through this process. (Again, you have to be ready and willing, no one can force this, you’ll know when.)
Jesus didn’t cause my darkness. He’s protected me in my darkness, and Jesus will carry me though my darkness, into my transition, he will be beside me during metamorphosis, and he’ll grow me into that butterfly that’s going to fly. One that’s going to smell the sweetest of roses, and one that praises her Lily of the Valley.
❤ Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
Song of Soloman 2:1 I am the rose of Sharon, And the Lily of the Valleys.
Song of Soloman 2:6 His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me. ❤
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