I should be sleeping. It’s my day off. But I’m not. I hear a voice telling me “You need to write in the back of my mind.”
While wrestling with thought, sleep, ear pain, and the creeping sleep I grab my computer, a NEHI peach, Tylenol, and my headphones.
Prayers first, music, and hands on the keys– Jesus you take the lead.
The week of February 20th came in this year untamed and very much thought of. Beginning with Friday the 17th, I had to call in work due to flood waters keeping me from getting home the night prior, (causing me and my boys to have to crash at a hotel). Friday, Saturday and Sunday the tensions built daily. Normally I don’t think and normally I don’t allow myself to reminisce. This year was different. –Then I paired the two.
On Friday the 17th, I joined my family in a Karen Peck concert. One of my favorite locals was opening for them (Chosen). Just three days before deadline. Tick tock, Tick tock. —
On Saturday we participated in Kingdom Connection. (Oh, what a feeling, to set at his feet, and press when I can’t feel nothing but fear and what if.) Tick tock, tick tock two days left.
Sunday was church morning. A warrior’s cry for prayer, one day left. tick tock, tick tock. (The clock never stops)–
I’ve begged and pleaded since the news. Jesus, spare my life, I’ll do anything, (Truth be told, I’m so drained of energy, I do well enough to function. Welcome to the truthful part of me)
Sunday night hit me differently. –“Daddy’s been dead 8 years on the 21st, and the day of my fate, (tick tock, tick tock) will mark the 8th year anniversary of when I last saw him alive”—- Coincidence, I think not!
Monday, February 20th,2023 let’s go to Lexington. I get up, shower, attempt to straighten my hair, (humidity you suck; thank you covid, and blonde bleach for the fuzz bucket look). My mom drove, and I was surrounded by my sisters, and niece. –
I want to back track a little; follow with me, I promise there is always a point, and relevance. — In December I celebrated Christmas. This Christmas was different. My Jericho walls were broken. — Every fiber in me now lives and loves (the catch, I’m so guarded, that it takes Jesus himself to show me its ok, when to guard and not guard) it took Jesus years to show me it’s ok to love these people, (note they adopted me in, just like Jesus grafted the gentiles into his Kingdom, and shows no difference, My Mom, Dad, grafted me in. I wasn’t biologically born of them, but they took me and my kids in as if I was and always have been one of theirs. – After celebrating a quick Christmas at home with Danny, Eli and my stepson, Me, Eli and Syrus went to Moms and Dads where we were surrounded by new siblings, my niece and nephews. — I really only thought we was going to and eat, (I always eat with them,) but no, as much as they done for their biological children, they had done for me Eli, and Syrus. But why; I wasn’t theirs. Because they loved me and they accepted me despite my flaws, setbacks, tears, and despite how many times I try to run from Jesus (do you feel me) Mom and Dad took me in. (Mind you, this was part of the promises of Jesus). — They’re coming to past.
Now, fast forward to my fate date and anniversary of the last visit, I had with my daddy. —
God, you take over. — I’m weak and wearisome.
Daddy, I’ll write to you.
I love you, and I miss you. I pray you know I spent that day wishing you was going with me. I pray you know I thought about you the night before and I posted about you on Facebook as the tears fell. I pray you know even though I don’t allow myself to sit and cry daily, I love you, and I pray you know that even though I call them Mom and Dad that no one will ever or could ever take your place or my mommy’s place. I’m hardheaded but not hardhearted. I’m numb, and think people are full of it (including myself,) but I’m not selfish and rude. I love them Daddy and they love me. They accept me, and I accept them. With all the hell I went through as a kid, (I know, I know my mom done her best; but still, I have scars from years ago) The Justice family are my normal, and I’m their adopted daughter/jokester. They can’t take me in a store, or well anywhere without me saying something, even while praying, I’ll throw it out there, (Jesus help me to sing, because I can’t follow a tune.) I make random jokes about loosening people up with mag citrate (just because they’re so tight). I think I get that part from you, but when I say I go overboard, it’s to the deep end where the anchor rest. I’d rather see them laugh than to see them cry. I’d rather keep the mood happy than show the sappy that lays inside me, you know what though, they know the sappy parts within. I talk their ears off, and they know all the hidden details. Mom and my sisters know all the brokenness, and they know things no one else ever will, and they love me. They never let me walk alone. — They are meant to heal me daddy, — Heal me from the brokenness of losing you. Jesus gave you your healing in heaven, and I was left with an open wound, shattered heart, and darkness. –They’re teaching me love don’t have to hurt. They’re showing me its ok to drop the walls. I needed them, they loved you daddy, and they’ll always lead me right daddy. One of these days, you and dad will dance on the shores of Jordan, with Jesus, and rejoice because all 3 of you have been my dad, but for now I’ll praise Jesus with them and dance on earth as we lead people their last mile home. I know you understand.
Now on to Monday February 20,2023. Tick tock, tick tock, the day is here. — As we got to UK, the appointment was in the hands of Jesus. Me and mom went into the clinic, as my sisters and niece waited outside. I checked in and took a seat. My vitals were taken, and I was called back shortly. As I set there, I notified people via messenger of the status (I’m in the back, pray!) I asked Jesus for peace, and for him to lead the doctors. —deep breathe, I’m not alone. I have people who love me and I won’t be scared.
The results were in. Remember– I was diagnosed with 50-69% blockage in both main arteries. —
But my Jesus (insert scene where you see a desk person throw their whole folder all over the floor)….
First, I saw an apprentice, and then I saw the specialist. — I was shown pictures of arteries with blockages, and I was shown pictures of my arteries. —-I was shown a miracle at the hands of the Father. — I WAS SHOWN NO PLAQUE, AND NO BUILD UP, MY ARTERIES ARE 100% CLEAR! I HAVE BEEN HEALED. oh, how I praise his name. My Mom spoke up and said “Christie, that’s because you have gotten in all those prayer lines, the apprentice looked completely confused, but he was given a powerful testimony of Jesus.– Was it a miss-reading from the original results NO! My doctor heard the sound of the arteries, the blockage was there, but I stand to tell you, my Jesus is a way maker, a promise, keeper, a light in the darkness, and he’s making a way in this desert that you feel you are wondering through. — Just hold on his promises are nigh!
He’s so good!
I spend the rest of the day testifying to everyone. The day of Daddy’s death came and went, but mind you, I’ll never forget the Miracle on the 8th Year! — What was supposed to be a day of sadness, turned to Joy because of Jesus. — And your Joy is coming back too! Just a little farther.
OH, random fact, — I have owl socks, I got them for Christmas from my family.
I want you to know whatever you are facing; you are never alone. I am praying. Jesus loves you more in a moment, than anyone could their entire life.
I love you!
Jesus loves you most!
❤ Christie ❤
Give God a little more time. He’s not rushing. –We are.
Random Fact, Jesus led my sister to make me a blanket and have it anointed. it is covered in pictures of the youth group children’s hands, photos from church, and it was anointed- I carry it everywhere. —One particular handprint is pictured below. – I hope you smile.
Isaiah 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do
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