For whatever reason, this title has been on me the past few days. I’ll pray and ask Jesus to have his way with it.
This time I pray silent because I have a lot going on inside my mind and heart.
Bow your head and pray to if you choose and ask the lord to help you receive whatever he has prepared for you though this/his writing. I say his because I cannot even finish a blog unless his hands are upon them.
About a week ago right after laying down for bed Eli (my youngest rugrat) came and put his arms around me and said, “I’m going to marry you Mommy”, He then told me “And I’m going to give you a kiss.” He then gave me the biggest kiss ever on my forehead. I asked him are you going to give me a ring too maybe a blue one? (I was referring to wedding bands) he told me “Yes, but a little one, so you can’t get away or go far.” It took me a second to catch on, but I finally realized he was referring to “Sonic’s ring’s”, you know the ones Sonic tosses in the distance when he’s in trouble or just wanting to teleport. Yea, Eli was willing to give me a ring, but not one I could use to get away from him with. Gosh! love it. His precious conversation has replayed to me daily.
OK, Jesus how is this supposed to turn into a blog?
Just like the child like love of Eli towards me, Jesus feels the same way about all of us. Before we make our vowels to him, after we make our confession and daily when we are renewed in him, his love never changes. And… he doesn’t want any of us to get away from him.
Marriage is a unity. It’s for better or worse, good times, bad times, highs, lows, cuddles, snurls, cold shoulders, and shoulders for pillows. Whatever life throws at you when you are married to someone, they are your person. (Unless you get a divorce, and God hates divorce. Infact the bible tells us there’s really only one legit reason for obtaining a divorce which is adultery. Agree to disagree, but still, it doesn’t change his word.) Anyways, just like Eli wanting me to stay close to him because he loves me, Jesus wants us to stay close to him because he loves us and guess what he doesn’t give us a reason to divorce him. He’s always faithful to us. He provides, cares for, nurtures, and he is always there, even when we can’t feel him (I’ll raise my hand, wipe my snotty nose, and be the first to shake my fist in the air screaming his name) So… you’re perfect? I’m not.
I’ve wanted to throw my hands up. I’ve wanted to scream. Do you know how long I feel like I have been praying, then I see everyone else lives turning out so perfect. There’re times I’m like “Really, Jesus you only care for the perfect ones.” Look I’m only being real. At times I am a real mess. Then I began to think, there has to be a message in this mess. — Then it came tonight (after me telling Jesus the whole him only loving perfect people.) Broken heart symbol here.
“Flowers don’t grow without rain.”
Life is a flipping mess. I am up to my eyeballs in homework. I sleep in a separate room than my husband, (courtesy of Eli– its ok he’s autistic and I like my big old bed to myself and him. I’d rather roll over and cuddle someone I know feels safe with me, than to be around someone who makes me want to run away. Just saying) My arteries are like clogged Pipes. I’m on a strict diet 4 out of 7 days a week I live on fruits/veggies/whole grains. Then on the weekends I cheat a little. I exercise now almost every day. Everything I can do to better my crumbling health (except the cheat days, momma loves Mexican) My point is, Jesus doesn’t want us perfect, he doesn’t’ expect us to be perfect, he wants us loyal. He knows we are full of raw emotions, and he can handle them all, even when we can’t handle ourselves. —
The rain is falling. But I’m nearing my finish line, the same tears I’ve been crying I’m going to spit in the devil’s face. — That serpent, He don’t own me, and at times I may sound like him verbally, I’m not his or nor will I ever be.
My fat mouth (-10000) Jesus ❤ ❤ ❤ (1000000000) the devil –(he’s about to get knocked out)
Today I bought me 2 stuffed owls (one a key chain, the other a plushy)
God is with me. I won’t fear.
❤ I love you. ❤
❤ Jesus loves you most ❤
❤ Christie ❤
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