Live with Abandon

This morning was especially hard for me.

Standing outside, waiting for Eli’s school bus to pull up, tension set in, my throat tightened as my baby boy, expressed he was scared I was going to leave him. The mom in me consoled and hugged him tighter as I expressed to him, I would be right here waiting for him when he got home from school this evening.

(God gave Eli this nightmarish prophetic dream once before of me drowning in water, so I’m always on the lookout for such dreams and visions again. This dream was also confirmed by someone else, who also saw it. Needless to say, I’m very watchful of how I tread the ground with my Jesus. I say my Jesus because I have a personal relationship with him, just like my children are my children and we have a personal relationship together. Jesus is mine, and I hope he’s yours too.)

As, I stood there with Eli, I asked if he had a dream, or if saw something, only to realize this was an episode where he was being a child worrying about his mommy, and he didn’t want to lose mommy. My heart swelled within me, but also the daughter of a King in me roared, for I reconized this spirit. Satan, how dare you taunt my baby!!! Hands off, this one is mine, and you won’t so easily overpower this child of mine!

I continued to talk to Eli and tell him, “Eli, that’s the devil, he’s bothering you. You need to stop watching that stuff on YouTube, it is giving you nightmares, and that’s not of Jesus. Eli, we have work for Jesus to do. We are going to be ok. Eli, we work for Jesus, and it’s time to put the devil under our feet!”

Fear is a battle I know all too well, and for the devil to try and take it to my child at such an early age, who does that defeated foe take me for? Of course, I’m teaching him to rebuke, cast down and plead the blood of the lamb at an early age.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” –Proverbs 22:6

You see, our children are never too young to fight on the battlefield for Jesus. Our children are like little sponges, they take in everything, they absorb it all, good and bad. It’s up to us, as parents and caregivers living in this perverse generation, to teach our children about Jesus, and we are to teach them to stand for Jesus. We are to teach them early on, to wear the Armour of God and how to use it. The point of teaching them young is, we are teaching them when they’re the humblest, and we are teaching them while their decision making is based more so on what they know and what they have been taught. Makes perfect sense to teach them to always wear and use the Armour of God, while they’re also learning how to use necessary skills for everyday living.

As Eli got on the bus, he sat down and starred out the window at me, his heart was heavy and so was mine. Infact, this morning I walked away in tears.

To my prayer room I go.

Jesus take a walk inside my heart.

Jesus make me who you would have me to be. Take out everything that’s not of you, mold me and create me in your image. Lord, come into even the most hidden parts of my heart, including the parts that I don’t even know are there and create in me a clean heart. I want to be new in your eyes. I want to be a willing vessel for you. I want to sell out to you. I want you to be my all in all. I want you to lead me to set the captives free, I want you to move upon me, and part the waters as I cross this dreary sea. I want to be made your beautiful, heavenly creation. I want to be yours for you are mine. I want to live with abandon, in this world. I want to abandon all I have and or think about my own life and I want all my life and all I have to be what you say and direct it to be. I want my heart, and the words of my lips to be fruitful for you. I want to love my enemies. I want to love those that are unlovable. I simply want to tell people about you. I want to warn them that you are coming back soon. I want to tell them you love them, and you are knocking. But there are those that refuse to open up to you. Dear Jesus, I know you are only obligated to knock once, but yet you, countlessly knock many times at people’s hearts because you love them much. Lord Let them feel and know the magnitude of your love and mercy. Lord let them know that today is the acceptable day of salvation. Lord let them let you in. Make a way Lord. I plead their cause before you Jesus. Have mercy. I know you have to come, but I pray my Lord send me, anoint my mouth like you done Moses, for I will not filter. I’ll speak, I’ll say. I won’t hold back. I’ll stand. I’ll teach them to stand. I’ll die for you, you died for me.

Chasing after this world makes me tired praisin’ my own name leaves me dry there’s gotta be so much more to life than this, a higher calling that I missed
I want my life to count, every breath — I wanna live with abandon
Give You all that I am every part of my heart, Jesus I place in Your hands
I wanna live with abandon I’ll drop everything to follow You it’s only Your hands I hold onto I’m not looking back I’m done with that I Wanna give You all I have.
-The Newsboys

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;  To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified.–Isaiah 61:1-3

Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me. –Isaiah 6:8

I pray this helped you some. I’m not sure who it is for. Once again, I have to go back and read it myself. All I had was a title in mine, and when I started writing, it’s like the Lord himself took over. I don’t even know what’s written.

I love you,

Jesus loves you most, and he wants you to sell out to him.

If you need me, email me.

❤ Christie

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