Starring out into the calm sea of life, I see the stillness ahead, and the storm behind me. I feel the waves becoming more and more calm, and the steadiness of the wind guiding my sails into the calm pink, orange sunset.
Life has been a rollercoaster over the past couple of years, and at times, it’s been a chaotic hurricane stuck in the middle of an ocean.
Lately, I’ve had this image that keeps coming to my mind of me being on a ship, staring out into the sunset, with sky’s colored pink, orange and blue, as the sun sets beneath the ocean. While the dusk has been settling, so has the storm.
I’ve been the passenger on my ship for some time now. At times I’ve been playing captain, and I’ve been the one using the oars to fight against the waves. Its only when I decided to take my hands off the oars, and lay down role as captain, that my ship began to sail in the right direction.
When doing things in myself, I failed every time. After turning over all control of my ship to the captain and keeper of my heart, the waves are getting less and less. You see, the ship that I am on is the old ship of Zion, and the captain and my keeper is Christ. I’m on board this ship of life with Christ, he is my life, and my shelter from all of the waves and storms of this life.
The past few weeks / months have been crazy. At times these past few months have almost been cataclysmic, with everything in life colliding and smashing, control is something that was missing. There was a point where I just gave up, and I gave in. I stopped fighting and I started trusting, when the waves got taller, I’d ask for more prayer. Seeing the signs all around me everything from bible verses in the presidents Easter speech, to hidden words and insect and animals that just pop out, I saw them and see them all. With every sign I praise God, with every symbol I praise God, with every ounce of faith, love and hope, I praise God.
I am still not where I want to be in life, but I am praying to do and be what Jesus wants me to be. Right now, he has got me a stand still.
I’m standing and watching him move in my life, and in the stillness, I see him moving. I still don’t talk to anyone, it’s not personal, I want Jesus to guide my every conversation, and I know he knows my every motive behind everything that I do, even my writings. I do not want or desire to be one of these people who only honors Jesus with their mouths, and my heart be far from him. I’m careful and I do not want to go against his will. I know as long as I am faithful that he will do exactly what he’s told me he would do.
Easter was sweet, my husband attended church with me, and he got prayer. Even when I don’t feel God moving, he continues to show me he’s moving.
I only want to be what Jesus would have me to be in life, and right now that’s to be faithful, to him, his word, my husband, my kids, my church, my church family, and then everyone else. — I know as long as I follow him, and allow him to lead, he’s going to put all the pieces together in his perfect time, and according to his perfect will.
Jeremiah 29:11-For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
As for my body weight, I’ve not lost any of that, but there’s a mental and spiritual weight that I’ve been losing a little more of each day. Fear is slowly leaving me, each day I can breathe a little easier, knowing Jesus don’t expect me to be perfect, he just expects me to follow and to love him.
“Fear, you don’t own me
There ain’t no room in this story
And I ain’t got time for you
Telling me what I’m not
Like you know me well guess what?
I know who I am
I know I’m strong
And I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here”-Fancesca Battistelli
I love you all,
&. Jesus loves you most, if you haven’t talked to him today, just say hello to him, he desires to hear from you!
email me at email@example.com
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