For His Glory

Morning noon and night my mind wonders how long I’ll have to wait.

I remind myself his timing is not my timing, nor his thoughts my thoughts, for his ways are so much higher than mine and his timing is perfect.

Are you waiting?

As I wait in silence, I cling to his promises. When I am shaken and feeling hopeless I cling to his promises. When distraction comes nigh I cling to his promises and remember that he won’t lie to me and he’s close to me. I cling to his promises as I battle my flesh and as I battle my mind. I cling to his promises and remind myself God is nigh, he’ll sustain me and see me through this. I cling to his promises and pray often.

I may appear silent, but if you read my blogs you’ll see I’ve been talking the whole time, maybe not one on one, but my words and expressions have been laid before you. My fears, my anxiety and my struggles. I’ve been open, and closed at the same time. I’ve been clinging to Jesus all while clinging to faith, love, hope, spero and every little sign I see. I’ve been there in your darkness as I feel it closing in on you, and I’ve prayed when I can’t even pray for myself.

Sometimes I feel lost. I’m in another valley, almost like a valley of affliction. First I had my surgery, then I faced saying no to addiction, and now I am sick. It’s like it’s bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. I catch a break long enough to catch a breath.

I told Jesus yesterday that if he’s make the pain bearable in my ear, I’d not touch anymore pain meds, that’s when I heard him whisper, “I cried unto the Lord, and he sustained me” —- now I’ll confess, at times I’m a dictionary freak. I like to know and understand the exact meaning of words so I am able to understand what Jesus is saying. When I googled the meaning of sustain it read: strengthen or support physically or mentally.

Right now, I’m weak in body. In spirit I’m up and down, once again I am reminded when I am weak he is made strong. Pushing and pursing these promises helps me to stay strong and focused in him. Although, the timing drives me bonkers, letting go and letting God have it, is the best thing, because if I hadn’t I would have messed up gods plan for me.

I write this morning, I have a yearning in my heart, I have a brokenness in my spirit, I have a open space that only God and those promises can fulfill. I remember the message I received prior to my surgery, I remember it daily, I remember. I remember everything. But I remind myself I have to put Jesus first, keep him first, and not allow my flesh to pull me into sinful nature, it is when we are drawn away according to our lust that we sin. I have a burning in my heart for all such things, but I have a burning in my heart for gods will, timing and purpose.

He has a purpose for my pain.

He has a purpose for your pain.

He has a purpose for the waiting.

I refuse to waiver; I know it’s near. I refuse to let go, I know it’s near. I know it’s closer than before, and I know I’ve preached this for over a year, everyday that goes by, I’m one step closer, while clinging to Jesus.

I just feel so I don’t know how to explain, I’m still here.

🦋🐞🦉

Remember I love you, and Jesus loves you most. If I can give you any advice, let him love you, right now that’s all I can do. In my brokenness, I realize I am made whole because of his love, he’s fixing my vessel, and will fill it with the perfect flowers. I could almost cry. Right now again I tell you and myself he is enough.. I remind myself, he’s all I need, he sustains and he cares how I feel on the inside.

🦋🐞🦉

❤️⚓️Christie

THE ANCHOR HOLDS IN SPITE OF THE STORM

My sails may be tattered, in cases like these I remember he molds me, holds me, and desires for me to be in his image. —- I must be teachable, by the potter and keep on going… oh how I can see my captain with his hand to his head, giving me a salute, as I march on. The good shepherd gave his life for me, and I’m marching on like the warrior you first called me!

Let’s try this again

Take 2🎬

❤️⚓️Christie