For His Glory

The title itself says it all.

I still believe in Jesus.

I still believe in his goodness.

I still believe in the faithfulness of God.

I still believe in his promises.

I still believe.

Although I war in my flesh; and often at times the answers seem so far away; I know my God is near and he is who he says he is. He’s loyal, caring and he knows the hurt in one’s heart.

He never meant for our lives to be simple and he never meant for our lives to hurt; but he did intend for us to lean on him for every aspect; including but not limited to the questions, trials, misfortunes and good times.

Think about it; it’s easy to praise Jesus when we are on top of a mountain; blah blah blah, I’m sure you’ve heard that one before; but what about when you’re at the lowest of low? Can you find it within yourself to say “Jesus you’re still good? Can you say God I still love you?” Again, it’s probably easy for me to preach it considering I’ve never lived through your exact circumstances. I may not have lived you’re exact pain, trauma or life in general but to a certain degree I know and understand.

I still dream of my stepdad; and I still feel creepy feelings around certain people; some is discernment, some is PTSD. I have bad dreams, probably not a bad as yours, and I fear losing Eli because I feel as though I’ve lost so much with losing my pride and pain.

I pray for you, sometimes more than I pray for anyone else I pray for you. I pray that you give your heart back to Jesus and let him come in and mend the pain; I pray that he holds you when you can’t seem to find comfort or peace. I pray he lets you know all is well and he doesn’t mean for you to stay in the darkness. I pray he gives you the strength to walk out of the darkness into his glorious light; I pray he gives you the strength to still believe when everything seems so far away.

It’s hard at times; to be silently loud, yet softly spoken. It’s hard to believe when there is doubt on every corner, but when believing is all you have, why stop now. I believe things are going to turn around real soon. I have faith, love and hope and most importantly I have Jesus.

The impact that this journey has had on my faith is one I never expected; through the wind and rain and turmoil I still believe. Through the absence of social media and non-replying emails; I’m still believing. Through it all, I still believe.

My hearts desire is to grow deeper and more passionate about the cross during this time, and I pray you make your way back to him. It wasn’t his fault and you / we can’t believe every voice we hear in our heads. I struggle with this. Sometimes I hear things I know just aren’t Jesus. Try the spirit, if it doesn’t line up with Gods word, rebuke it. Hold to Jesus, remember Elijah found him in that still small voice. I’m praying for you to hear his voice; I know you feel him knock; even though you’re so numb I could literally pinch you and you’d probably not feel it. Pain changes people; trauma changes people, but it’s not supposed to make us hate Jesus. It’s supposed to make us lean closer on Jesus.

Oh; and a side note. I’m 5 / soon to be 6 days post opt. I finally took a shower and washed my head. eeeeww stinky; not really stinky. I stayed clean, I just didn’t feel like getting myself in the shower. My ear has stopped draining from the inside, the protective cover on the steri strips has came off; and I wasn’t in as much pain yesterday as I was today. I wonder if I am hurting is because I cleaned it. It’s hard telling. Im averaging taking pain meds 2-3 times daily with hopes that will be stopped by Friday. I go back to the doctor on 7/31/23. To my knowledge it will take up to 8 weeks before I’ll be released to ride roller coasters, or thrill rides. Hopefully for my bday I can let loose and go a little crazy.

Jesus dropped a blessing on me yesterday; I’d like to share it before I close.

My pain reached out to me. He told me he loved me and he was sorry for how he treated me & explained he just needed some space and didn’t know how to do it & a bonus he told me happy late Mother’s Day.

Even when I don’t see him moving; he never stops moving! You just have to believe.

I pray I’ve said something to help you!

Remember: I STILL BELIEVE

I love you and Jesus loves you most. He wants you to turn to him; with everything; and watch him turn your mourning to dancing!

Email me.

Christie7373@halfwayhomeministries.com

❤️Christie