As I sit tonight and think about this current valley that I am in, a song is playing in my ears from YouTube, the lyrics are “I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind, The God of angel armies, Is always by my side. And nothing formed against me shall stand. You hold the whole world in Your hands. I’m holding on to Your promises. You are faithful.”
God, I hear you reminding me, “No weapon that is formed against you will succeed; And you will condemn every tongue that accuses you in judgment and weeping may endure for a moment, but joy cometh in the morning. (Isaiah 54:17 & Psalm 30:5)”
The last three days I have been in revival. Monday was the first night of the revival, I was tired and worn.
First lets back track to Sunday. On Sunday I traveled down to Bowling Green, KY to see my pain. It was a 4 1/2-hour drive, and I drove it on 4 hours of sleep, not to mention I was traveling with my oppressor, (the term oppressor is harsh, but if the shoe fits wear it.) Prior to leaving my house it came to me to get a prayer card, pray over it and anoint it and give it to my precious pain. Upon arrival I was super early, like three hours, thank you time change, and my lead foot. But I made it. When visitation came, I realized he was in complete lock down. The only difference between where he was staying and juvenile was the cells, and bedding. My oppressor and I had to go through security, where we were scanned with metal detectors, no cellphones were allowed, and I could not set beside him. We had to sit across from him but allowed to face him. I was allowed to hold his hand. But due to pain, adrenaline, tiredness, and confusion as to who he’s became, I sat talking and observing the young man that was before me.
My Syrus, my pain. Tears formed in my eyes. I stared at him. Who was this child I was adoring? This child was a young man, this child was me. I told him “Syrus, I see me in you, get out the game while you can.” My oppressor advised him to listen to me. I poured my heart and my love out to him. Just listening to him speak broke my heart. I failed as his mother. BUT… I will no longer fail as his example, and as his mentor, or as his biggest cheerleader as long as it doesn’t involve the criminalistic mindset. I will lead and guide him with every breath in me, I will pray and petition God daily for him, and I will push him to be the best him he can be, and I will not fail to remind him, “Son, there is no life where you are going, and if you die in that state, you’ll go to hell. Hell is no game, its real, get out, get out of it. You can do better, you may not like God, or you may question or blame him, but he loves you and Jesus died for you.” This is a harsh message to tell anyone, but I refuse to sit back and see anyone go to hell. Even if I have to put my hands in the fire and pull you out, I will.
The trip back was late. I didn’t leave Bowling Green until almost 7, and I was super tired and beyond exhausted, and I knew I had to work the next day. Mother nature decided she was going to rain, and my foot decided it wasn’t going to let up on the gas, unless I had to. I had people praying for my safety and I was trusting in Jesus to lead me back safely. The slowest I think I drove was 55 at one point because it was pouring down the rain and I had to put on my E-lights. Then the fog came, and visibility was reduced to 5-15 foot in front of my vehicle, not to mention the road from western KY, has only reflectors and very few if any street lights. Rainy, foggy, dark, and I was super tired. I finally made it in around 11:30 and I was straight to bed. I curved as much time off the trip coming home as I could, needless to say, I pray I never have to drive with that much aggression again, if a deer would have jumped in front of me at those speeds, I would have been a goner, and well the deer would have probably survived, it would have probably taken flight and landed in a tree somewhere. A little humor or the heavy hearts.
Now back to Monday, the first day of revival. This day I worked 11 hours. It was trick or treat, and I wanted to go home and sleep, but church was more important. Upon arrival, I could feel God’s mighty presence lifting me up. I could feel Jesus moving in the midst. I was praying to among myself, praising Jesus, and out of nowhere, the evangelist came to me while he was beginning to preach the Word of God, and he told me “Sister lift up your head, cause God is making a way for your victory.” This man didn’t know me, he had no idea the valley I was in, and for him to speak that word to me, I was humbled and left in tears. I know God hears my prayers. At the end of the service, a sister of mine in Christ, brought me a prayer cloth with Syrus name on it, and she ask for me and her to stand together for Syrus and a friend of hers, who is battling similar addictions.
God is Faithful and he won’t abandon his promises, you see we are the ones who often abandon God because we get lost in the pain of unfulfillment from God. I’ll be the first to raise my hand. I’ve stood for so long, I think I need to take a seat, but then Jesus is like, nope, stand ye still and see the salvation of the Lord, because I am about to pour out my spirit.
Night two of revival, Danny went with me. What a feeling. To have him with me in Church, to feel what I’ve been longing to feel in the spiritual realm, that spouse that is beside me as I worship my Lord, whether he agrees with it or not, I know seeds was planted, and I know God is going to water them. If you’re wondering how I got him to go, I told him I wanted him to Go. I didn’t ask, I kind of just demanded it. (Maybe I’m mean, grrr.. Sometimes a girl has to take authority, but never in a million years would I ever try to be the head of the house because that’s not how Jesus designed it, I just kind of said, there’s church tonight and I want you there, it starts at 6 ❤ and well, Jesus done the rest) Oh how I long for him to be next to me while in church, how I long for that marriage where Jesus is the head of the both of us, and how Jesus comes first in his life, oh how I long for a marriage where Jesus is royalty to the both of us, and we both kneel at the altar for worship of the creator of the entire universe. Oh, how I long for this promise to be fulfilled, and I’ll let you know something, he’s coming in soon, and the rest of the promises will soon follow. Oh, how I praise Jesus for his goodness. Oh how, I praise Jesus for his mercy and for his grace, and I praise Jesus for his love that I do not deserve. Oh, how I love Jesus because he first loved me…
As for my message to everyone, keep praying and keep trusting, cause there’s an awakening coming in the spirit. God’s healing is coming, Jesus is about to awake a bunch of sleeping Giants in his world; these Giants are servants who will be impossible to be shaken or moved when it comes to his standards or his ways. I call them sleeping because they are the ones who have not yet stepped into their calling. As for myself, I am slowly stepping into my calling more each day.
But know this, as I come to a close, I REFUSE TO BOW TO THIS WORLD.
I WILL FOREVER BOW TO JESUS, the devil and his angels can have this world, but he’ll never take me and mine! I’m no coward! I am a witness, an intercessor, and child of God, My King is Jesus!
I am praying for you!
If you need me, you know what to do!
Remember I love you, and Jesus loves you most ❤
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